By Sheryl Sandberg. The Leadership Ambition Gap – What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid? Even though I grew up in a traditional home, my parents. PDF | Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead is a self-proclaimed “sort of Sandberg gives insight into how to overcome and help others overcome the Sheryl Sandberg studied economics while at Harvard, is currently the COO of. The talk that surrounded Facebook Coo’s “Lean In” which targets women in the workplace started even before the book was published. We find that Sandberg’s “Lean In” pushes all the right buttons when it comes to the subject it touches. Sheryl Sandberg worked in the US.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data. Sandberg, Sheryl. Lean in: women, work, and the will to lead / Sheryl Sandberg. — First edition. pages cm. Lean in: women, work, and the will to lead / Sheryl Sandberg.; Catalyst, Catalyst Census: Fortune Women Board. LEAN IN BY SHERYL SANDBERG | BOOK SUMMARY &. PDF. Lean In is written by Sheryl Sandberg, the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook. The book is an.

Skip to main content. Log In Sign Up. Victor Christianto. Adam Grant. Org All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Alfred A. All rights reserved. A portion of this work originally appeared in Time on April 14, Sandberg, Sheryl, author. Grant, Adam, author. Option B:

Rather they need to be told that by excelling, they will be rewarded with a mentor. Sandberg explains that this has a negative effect for women. There are more men at the top of industries, looking to mentor younger recruits, and therefore, the old-boys club continues to grow. Unless some of these men decide to mentor younger women, there is never going to be enough support for women to work up to leadership roles.

Sandberg stresses the importance of highlighting this imbalance to current senior men and encouraging them to mentor younger women. It should be a badge of honour for men to sponsor women. Sandberg emphasises the importance of communication in both personal and working relationships. Sandberg explains that honesty is probably the most important aspect of communication, yet she believes that people avoid honest in situations whether it be to protect themselves or someone else.

She explains that avoiding honesty is never a good idea and usually encourages problems and issues. Telling the truth and communicating openly with someone takes bravery, we need to stop avoiding it whenever possible.

This makes people even less likely to tell the truth. Every organiSation faces this challenge. Sandberg reminds us of the two components of effective communication.

Recognising this is the first step to undertaking effective communication. Acknowledging that your perspective filters everything you see will mean that you will learn how to share your views without being preachy or threatening.

You should be able to share your opinion non-aggressively and understanding that others may not share the same views. It is nearly impossible to know how our actions are perceived by others.

With real knowledge, we can adjust our actions and avoid getting tripped up. Still, people rarely seek enough input. Sandberg draws attention to the importance of emotions. Emotions literally influence all of our decisions, perceptions, and points of view.

An important aspect of communication is to care about and understand others. Sandberg recommends attempting to understand your colleagues, seniors, peers, and partners better.

Instead, true leadership stems from individuality that is honestly and sometimes imperfectly expressed. Leaders should strive for authenticity over perfection. Sandberg explains that this shift to authenticity is something that women can celebrate. It means that women can stop trying to hide their emotions in the workplace and stop trying to come across as more stereotypically male. Something that is repeatedly portrayed to women and girls is that they cannot succeed at work and be a good mother.

The overwhelming message is that the two are mutually exclusive. Instead, they make a lot of small decisions along the way, making accommodations and sacrifices that they believe will be required to have a family.

Of all the ways women hold themselves back, perhaps the most pervasive is that they leave before they leave. Sandberg explains that by leaving before they truly leave, women prevent themselves from progressing. Well before they have handed in their resignation, women will hold themselves back, avoid pursuing new opportunities and decline offers presented to them.

This often starts in the years leading up to a women becoming a mother. Sandberg identities a significant difference in the way that woman are treated when they announce a pregnancy versus how their male partners are treated.

The reason this happens is that society commonly assumes that women will be giving up work to raise the child. Sandberg identifies multiple influencing factors in this situation including societal conventions, family expectations, and peer pressure. If a woman is financially stable enough to not need to work, she will be encouraged by everyone she knows to stop work and raise the child, regardless of her wishes.

However, Sandberg explains that the cost of childcare is another contributing factor. However, Sandberg encourages women to question this, by dropping out of the workforce for a number of years you are quickly falling behind and will struggle to fit back in. On the otherwise of the spectrum, Sandberg believes that not only do women need to be more empowered in the workplace, but at home, men need to be more empowered too. Many women believe that they are the only ones who can do the household jobs and therefore end up doing it all themselves.

The other area this can become an issue is in parenting the child. Mothers have an intense maternal instinct, especially in the early years.

But Sandberg explains that it is up to the mothers to empower the father and encourage their involvement. By trying to handle everything on their own, women became overloaded and men become frustrated at their lack of responsibility at home. Sandberg stresses the importance of best partners being equally capable and sharing the roles. Women need to let their partners in and ask for support. Like the people in the stress experiment who were consoled by the simple presence of a button, I needed friends who let me know that even if I was difficult to be around, they would not abandon me.

What helped me more was when people said that they were in it with me. I started spending more time with my closest friends and family, who taught me by example how to live the Platinum Rule. At first, it was survival; I could be myself with them, and they were able to absorb and help carry the anguish and anger. Later, it became my choice. These shifts in relationships happen to most of us naturally over time.

As people mature, they focus on a smaller set of meaningful relationships, and the quality of friendships becomes a more important factor in happiness than the quantity.

About a year after Dave died, a friend seemed distracted and upset. I asked what was going on and she hesitated to tell me. I wanted those close to me to know I was there to help carry their troubles too. As time passed, I felt especially grateful to my family and friends who continued to check in and show up. The poem relates a dream of walking on the beach with God.

Feeling forsaken, the storyteller challenges God: But now it means something else to me. When I saw one set of footprints, it was because they were following directly behind me, ready to catch me if I fell. She returned home to New York committed to doing more for those in need. Then a friend invited her to join a Christian outreach visit to a Texas prison. At the time, Catherine was working in venture capital and noticed that many of the inmates had the same skills and drive as great entrepreneurs.

She started flying to Texas on weekends to teach business classes at the prison. She learned that nearly one in four Americans has a criminal history and one in twenty will serve time. While most are eager to work after release, their criminal records make it difficult to get jobs.

Catherine felt strongly that these men deserved a second chance. Catherine quit her job and invested all of her savings to create the nonprofit Prison Entrepreneurship Program, which prepares formerly incarcerated men to find employment and start their own businesses. Within five years, the program expanded into a statewide organization that graduated six hundred students and launched sixty start-ups.

After nine years of marriage, her husband asked for a divorce unexpectedly and left without saying good-bye. Knowing they had felt the sharp sting of prejudice, she turned to them for support. They helped her move out of her house and became her closest confidants.

During this emotional time, she lost sight of boundaries and ended up having intimate relationships with more than one of the graduates. Catherine was banned from Texas prisons and informed that her program would be banned too if she stayed involved. Suddenly that was her own life. I was dead broke financially.

Catherine had dedicated herself to helping people get a second chance. She had fostered compassion for ex-offenders. Now she needed to find compassion for someone else—herself. Psychologist Kristin Neff describes self-compassion as offering the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to a friend. It allows us to respond to our own errors with concern and understanding rather than criticism and shame.

Everyone makes mistakes. Some are small but can have serious consequences. We turn our heads for a split second on the playground at just the moment our child falls. We change lanes and hit the car in our blind spot. We make big mistakes too—errors of judgment, failures to follow through on commitments, lapses of integrity. None of us can change what we have already done. Self-compassion comes from recognizing that our imperfections are part of being human.

Those who can tap into it recover from hardship faster. In a study of people whose marriages fell apart, resilience was not related to their self-esteem, optimism, or depression before divorce, or to how long their relationships or separations had lasted. What helped people cope with distress and move on was self-compassion. For soldiers returning from war in Afghanistan and Iraq, those who were kind to themselves showed significant declines in symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD.

Self- compassion is associated with greater happiness and satisfaction, fewer emotional difficulties, and less anxiety. Both women and men can benefit from self-compassion, but since women tend to be harder on themselves, they often benefit more. It does not mean shirking responsibility for our past. It helps us realize that doing a bad thing does not necessarily make us a bad person. People become motivated to repair the wrongs of their past and make better choices in the future.

Shame has the opposite effect: Among college students, the shame-prone were more likely than the guilt-prone to have drug and alcohol problems. Prisoners who felt ashamed were 30 percent more likely to commit repeat offenses than those who felt guilty. Elementary and middle school kids who felt shame were more hostile and aggressive, while guilt-prone kids were more likely to defuse conflicts. We have all hurt someone. The first person she sought out was her pastor, who encouraged her to forgive herself and make amends.

More than a thousand responses poured in from people who thanked Catherine for her honesty and said they believed in her.

Many asked what she was doing next. She started to feel self-compassion. For as long as she can remember, Catherine has kept a journal. I was able to put words to my feelings and unpack them. They drafted a letter to themselves expressing the understanding they would offer to a friend in the same situation.

Lean In By Sheryl Sandberg | Book Summary & PDF: The Leadership Ambition Gap

Compared to a control group who wrote just about their positive attributes, those who were kind to themselves were 40 percent happier and 24 percent less angry. Turning feelings into words can help us process and overcome adversity. Decades ago, health psychologist Jamie Pennebaker had two groups of college students journal for fifteen minutes a day for just four days—some about nonemotional topics and others about the most traumatic experiences of their lives, which included rape, attempted suicide, and child abuse.

After the first day of writing, the second group was less happy and had higher blood pressure. This made sense, since confronting trauma is painful. But when Pennebaker followed up six months later, the effects reversed and those who wrote about their traumas were significantly better off emotionally and physically.

Since then, more than a hundred experiments have documented the therapeutic effect of journaling. It has helped medical students, patients with chronic pain, crime victims, maximum-security prisoners, and women after childbirth.

It has crossed cultures and countries from Belgium to Mexico to New Zealand. Writing about traumatic events can decrease anxiety and anger, boost grades, reduce absences from work, and lessen the emotional impact of job loss. Health benefits include higher T-cell counts, better liver function, and stronger antibody responses. Even journaling for a few minutes a few times can make a difference. The more specific the label, the better. In one study, people with a phobia of spiders learned they were going to interact with one.

But first the participants were instructed to distract themselves, think of the spider as nonthreatening, do nothing, or label their feelings about the spider. When the spider showed up, those who labeled their fear exhibited significantly less physiological arousal and were more willing to approach it. There are some caveats. Immediately after a tragedy or crisis, journaling can backfire: Still, for many, constructing a story can lead to insight.

Starting fresh in New York, she launched Defy Ventures, a program that provides current and former inmates with mentoring and training to start businesses. In one of the courses she created, students learn how to pinpoint their own self-limiting beliefs and rewrite them as self-freeing beliefs.

This year, I had a chance to visit a prison with Catherine. I saw her help the inmates, Entrepreneurs-in-Training as she calls them, define themselves by their future goals instead of their past traumas and mistakes. Six years in, Catherine reports that Defy Ventures has aided more than 1, graduates and incubated and funded start-ups, achieving a 95 percent employment rate with just 3 percent recidivism. Catherine regained her self-confidence not only professionally but in her personal life too.

In , she married Charles Hoke, who believed so strongly in the Defy mission that a year after their wedding he left his job in finance to work with her. When we lack it, we dwell on our flaws. We fail to embrace new challenges and learn new skills. We hesitate to take even a small risk that can lead to a big opportunity. We decide not to apply for a new job, and the promotion we miss becomes the moment our career stalled. Then I lost Dave. When a loved one dies, we expect to be sad.

Lean In Summary

We expect to be angry. This loss of confidence is another symptom of pervasiveness: Primary loss triggers secondary losses. For me, my confidence crumbled overnight. It reminded me of watching a house in my neighborhood that had taken years to build get torn down in a matter of minutes. In the next meeting, I wanted to make sure I contributed something. Someone directed a question at a colleague but I jumped in to answer…and went on and on.

Somewhere in the middle, I realized I was rambling, but I kept going, unable to stop. That I remembered. Actually, it was comforting.

Lean In Summary

But even if I had made those kinds of mistakes before, now it was all I could focus on. He went on to say that neither he nor anyone else expected me to be able to hold it together all the time. This comment helped me set more reasonable expectations and stop being so hard on myself. I felt deep gratitude for having such a supportive boss, and I know not everyone does. Bolstered by Mark and a pep talk from my father that night, I returned to work the next day. And the next day.

And the days after that. But on so many of those days, my grief prevented me from thinking clearly. It was like augmented reality—I knew that I was in a Facebook conference room, but it felt like his body was there too.

Even when I was not seeing his image, I was crying constantly. Lean in?


I could barely stand up. Journaling became a key part of my recovery. I have no idea why I want to write all of this down—as if I could forget any detail. Every couple of years I would start a new one, only to give up just a few days later. If I went even a few days without journaling, the emotions would build up inside me until I felt like a dam about to burst. Journaling helped me process my overwhelming feelings and my all-too-many regrets. I wished that in the hard moments in our marriage, we had fought less and understood each other more.

I wished that on what turned out to be our last anniversary, I had stayed home rather than flying with my kids to attend a bar mitzvah. As I wrote out these moments, my anger and regret began to lessen.

Journaling helped me make sense of the past and rebuild my self-confidence to navigate the present and future. At first, I was skeptical. I was barely functioning; what moments of success could I find? Got dressed today. Trophy please! Over the next six months, they became happier than a group writing about early memories. For six months, almost every night before I went to bed, I made my list.

Since even the most basic tasks were hard, I started with those. Made tea. Got through all of my emails. Went to work and focused for most of one meeting.

None of these were heroic accomplishments, but that little notebook by my bed served an important purpose. Just the act of reminding myself of anything that had gone well was a welcome shift. Making gratitude lists has helped me in the past, but this list served a different purpose. Adam and Jane believe that this is because gratitude is passive: Contributions are active: I now encourage my friends and colleagues to write about what they have done well.

The people who try it all come back with the same response: Slowly, I began to regain my self-confidence at work.

I just had to believe I could contribute a little bit and then a little bit more. To say that I am not a natural athlete is a serious understatement. On my fourth day on skis, my mother and I took a wrong turn and wound up on a difficult run.

I looked down the mountain, panicked, and fell into the snow, knowing it would be impossible for me to get down alive. My mom told me not to look at the bottom but instead just take ten turns. She coaxed me to get up and then helped me count ten turns out loud.

After those ten turns, I did another ten. Then another. Eventually, I found my way to the bottom. As people saw me stumble at work, some of them tried to help by reducing pressure. I thought you made a good point in that meeting and helped us make a better decision. Empathy was nice but encouragement was better. Self-doubt sneaks up even on those who see it coming.

Her primary fear was dying, but her secondary fear was losing her job. She was also concerned about how others would view her. As an expert on stigma, she suspected that her cancer would make people doubt her capabilities. Jenessa joined several colleagues to test this hypothesis, and sure enough, cancer survivors were less likely to get called back for job interviews.

Of course, it is also stressful if people expect me to do everything that I did before, so I imagine it must be a difficult balancing act for my colleagues to hit the sweet spot between expecting too little and too much of me. I still always start by offering them time off. But now I understand the importance of treating them as regular members of the team and praising their work as well.

Not only does loss of income put people under tremendous financial pressure, it can also bring about secondary losses by triggering depression, anxiety, and other health problems. Losing a job is a blow to self-esteem and self-worth and can rip away identities. By robbing people of a sense of control, losing income can actually lower their ability to tolerate physical pain. And the stress can spill over into personal relationships, resulting in increased conflict and tensions at home.

To help people suffering from depression after job loss, psychologists at the University of Michigan held weeklong workshops at churches, schools, libraries, and city halls. For four hours each morning, hundreds of unemployed people attended a program designed to build their job search confidence.

They identified marketable skills and sources of job leads. They rehearsed interviews. They made a list of setbacks they might face and strategies for maintaining motivation. They found small wins. In the next two months, people who had participated in this program had a 20 percent greater chance of landing a new job. And for the next two years, they were more confident and more likely to stay employed.

But programs like this can make a difference. Self-confidence at work is important and often discussed, but self- confidence at home is just as crucial and often overlooked. Being a single parent was uncharted territory for me.

Suddenly, our decade-long conversation about parenting came to an abrupt stop. They were right. My understanding and expectation of what a family looks like has shifted closer to reality. Since the early s, the number of single mothers in the United States has nearly doubled.

Today almost 30 percent of families with children are headed by a single parent—84 percent of whom are women. I will never experience or fully understand the challenges many single moms face. Although the odds are stacked against them, they do everything they can to raise incredible children.

To try to make ends meet, many have more than one job—not including the job of being a mother. And high-quality child care is often prohibitively expensive. The costs of placing a four-year- old and an infant in child care exceed annual median rent payments in every state.

Despite their hard work, single mothers have the highest rates of poverty in America and are almost twice as likely to be poor as single fathers. Families headed by black and Latina single mothers face even more challenges, with poverty rates approaching 40 percent.

Almost a third of single mothers and their children experience food insecurity. While we advocate for policy changes to support these families, we also need to do all we can to offer more immediate help. Shockingly, one in three families in the San Francisco Bay Area needs food assistance. I started volunteering years ago at my local food bank, Second Harvest, then helped launch the Stand Up for Kids campaign, which now provides meals to almost 90, kids every month.

After the campaign began distributing food at a local charter school, student disciplinary problems decreased. Working moms, especially those who are single, are put at a disadvantage from the start.

Lean In PDF Summary - Sheryl Sandberg | 12min Blog

The United States is the only developed country in the world that does not provide paid maternity leave. We need to rethink our public and corporate policies to make sure that women and men get the time off they need to care for themselves and their families.

We also need to banish the outdated assumption that children live with two married heterosexual parents. Once Dave died, the world kept reminding me and my children of what we no longer had. From father-daughter dances to Portfolio Night at school, father-child events were everywhere. My brother David said that he too realized for the first time how many father events there were at their public school in Houston and how hard that must be for the many children without dads.

Judgment calls loomed before me, making me feel increasingly incapable. What would Dave have done? Day after day I wished I knew and wished even more that he were here to answer the questions himself. But just like at work, when I focused on small steps, it was easier.

I just had to help them with what they were facing right then. I did not have to take even ten turns. I just had to help them take one turn at a time. I started by making a few decisions…then immediately questioned those decisions. Dave believed that sleep was critically important for our children and adamantly opposed sleepovers. But after he passed away, I found that sleepovers comforted and distracted my kids. I knew this change was inconsequential, but it seemed symbolic to me of how hard it was to live without Dave and still honor his wishes.

My sister-in-law Amy pointed out that Dave never got to tell me how his views would have evolved in the face of devastating loss. Without Dave as a rudder, I found myself relying heavily on feedback from friends and family. It also helped when they were honest about how I could do things better, like suggesting I be more flexible with previous rules and more patient with both my children and myself.

As I got farther from the trauma and the newness of life without Dave, I found myself journaling less. I no longer felt like I was going to burst without this outlet. I sat down and wrote this: October 3, This is the last entry of this journal. I am pushing myself to move onward and upward—and part of that is to stop writing this journal. I think I am ready.

I dreaded yesterday since the day Dave died. I knew it would be a marker—the birthday that did not happen. No, it will not be his birthday. You have to be alive to have a birthday. He is not. October 2, , was the day he would have turned Half a life. It looked so much smaller than it loomed in my memory from the day we buried him. Towards the end of our time there, I sat down in front of the grave by myself. I spoke to him out loud.

I told him that I loved him and that I missed him every minute of every day. I told him how empty the world seemed without him in it. And then I just cried, as it was so painfully clear that he could not hear me. David and Michelle gave me a few minutes alone and then came over and sat down next to me, one on each side. Something so comforting about this—I realized that my siblings were in my life long before Dave was. We talked about how if we were lucky, the three of us would live long enough to bury our parents—and we would do it there—together.

And so life continues with them. Not with Dave but with them. I can grow old with David and Michelle by my side as they always have been. I have learned how to make sure I talk about him constantly so our children remember him but I will never again have another conversation with him about them. I can cry all day every day—but it will not bring him back. Nothing will. We are all headed for where Dave is. Without a doubt. Looking at the row upon row of headstones, it is so clear that we all end up in the ground.

So each day has to count. I am not happy yet. But I know how much I have done these past five months. I know I can survive. I know I can raise my kids. I know I need a ton of help—and have learned to ask for it —and I believe more and more that the core people are in this with me for the long haul. It is still scary but less so. As all of them tell me over and over, I am not alone. But at the end of the day the only person who can move my life ahead, make me happy, and build a new life for my kids is me.

Hopefully many more to go. So today I end this journal. And try to restart the rest of my life… OceanofPDF. Still, when his teenage son Ryan was diagnosed with a rare and fatal form of epilepsy, he felt completely at a loss. Yet Joe was determined not to get sucked into the void.

The two psychologists were treating grieving parents and expected to see signs of devastation and post-traumatic stress, which they did. But they also found something surprising. The parents were all suffering and would have done anything to bring their children back. At the same time, many also described some positive outcomes in their lives following loss.

It seems hard to believe, but as time passed, instead of post-traumatic stress, some of the parents experienced post-traumatic growth.

Many of these people experienced ongoing anxiety and depression. Still, along with these negative emotions there were some positive changes. Up to that point, psychologists had focused mostly on two possible outcomes of trauma. Some people struggled: Others were resilient: Now there was a third possibility: Adam told me about post-traumatic growth four months after Dave died.

Too catchphrasey. Too unlikely. Sure, there might be people who could grow from tragedy, so you could hold this out as hope to someone who had just lost her husband. But now he thought I was ready. He told me that more than half the people who experience a traumatic event report at least one positive change, compared to the less than 15 percent who develop PTSD.

Then he did something super annoying: This is the same thing. And I had to admit that post-traumatic growth sounded a lot better than a life filled with sadness and anger.

If there is anything more painful in life, I hope never to discover it. He decided to study positive psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, where Adam was one of his professors. Joe learned that post-traumatic growth could take five different forms: But we can walk away with greater internal resolve.

People continued to say this to me and I agreed with them. It was all I could do to live through the moments when it hurt so much. In the depths of acute grief, I did not think I would be capable of growing stronger. But as excruciating days turned into weeks and then months, I realized that I could imagine because I was living it.

I had gained strength just by surviving. In the words of an old adage: The one I become will catch me. In the past, when my children faced challenges I would get anxious and Dave would reassure me. Now it is up to me to stay calm on my own. A normal kid problem! What a relief to be in a normal-problem zone. My childhood friend Brooke Pallot endured an arduous adoption process filled with huge disappointments, which melted away when she finally held her baby.

In the happy months that followed, Brooke met Meredith, another new mom. She was only thirty-four and felt perfectly healthy but had it checked anyway. A PET scan revealed that she had stage 4 breast cancer. In addition to offering Meredith her full support, Brooke felt compelled to get her own mammogram. But Brooke insisted on the test, which revealed that she had stage 4 breast cancer too. The two friends went through chemotherapy together.

She died three years later. And that is because of Meredith. I am much stronger, much more centered and reasonable now. I am here. In the first month after Dave died, I received an amazingly supportive call from Kevin Krim. Kevin and I had only met in passing, but we had close friends in common and I knew he had suffered an unthinkable tragedy.

When I saw Kevin months after his loss, I could barely speak, not knowing what if anything to say. Now he was calling to comfort me. I asked Kevin how in the world he had gotten through it. He and Marina decided to have more children and they felt fortunate that they were able to. Org, a nonprofit that teaches creativity to disadvantaged children. Kevin and Marina are finding post-traumatic growth by adding more love and beauty to the world…which is an act of love and beauty itself.

It is the irony of all ironies to experience tragedy and come out of it feeling more grateful. Since I lost Dave, I have at my fingertips this unbelievable reservoir of sadness. But alongside that sadness, I have a much deeper appreciation for what I used to take for granted: My mom offered a helpful comparison. For sixty-six years, she never thought twice about walking, but as she aged, her hip deteriorated and walking became painful. After hip replacement surgery four years ago, she feels grateful for every step she is able to take without pain.

What she feels on a physical level, I feel on an emotional level. My first trip lasted a month. I got through each day trying to be professional and then cried myself to sleep each night. It put all of my problems into perspective. I remember thinking that I would never complain about anything in my life again—I would appreciate my good fortune to be born into a community with the resources to invest in health care.

But over the years, that perspective faded and life went back to how it was before. When I asked Brooke how she does it, she said she reminds herself regularly of what she could have lost.

I know how lucky I am. Brooke encouraged me to see these milestones as moments to be cherished. I used to celebrate my birthday every five years, feeling like only the birthdays with the zeros and fives were special occasions.

Motherhood When a couple announces that they are having a baby. What are you planning on doing about work? Often without even realizing it. On top of these forces. But professional women need to measure the cost of child care against their future salary rather than their current salary. By the time they are in college. Child care is a huge expense. If any are presented to her. Of all the ways women hold themselves back.

Personal choices are not always as personal as they appear. We are all influenced by social conventions. No exceptions. As women must be more empowered at work. Women face enough barriers to professional success. Fathers who want to drop out of the workforce entirely and devote themselves to child care can face extremely negative social pressure. Fathers in the workforce Both men and women can be penalized at work for prioritizing family.

The image of a happy couple still includes a husband who is more professionally successful than the wife. If they also have to worry that they will upset their husbands by succeeding. When male employees take a leave of absence or just leave work early to care for a sick child. If she acts as a gatekeeper mother and is reluctant to hand over responsibility. Just move aside and let me! Anyone who wants her mate to be a true partner must treat him as an equal—and equally capable—partner.

The single most important career decision that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that partner is. Husband and wife Making gender matters even worse. So many women inadvertently discourage their husbands from doing their share by being too controlling or critical.

The simple act of talking openly about behavioural patterns makes the subconscious conscious. All of us—men and women alike—have to understand and acknowledge how stereotypes and biases cloud our beliefs and perpetuate the status quo. Then we have to do the hard work of getting there. Instead of ignoring our differences. We have celebrated the fact that women have the right to make this decision.

It is time to cheer on girls and women who want to sit at the table. In fact. When women work outside the home and share breadwinning duties. Perfection is the enemy.

For decades. Men need to support women and. I wish it went without saying. None of this is attainable unless we pursue these goals together. Flag for inappropriate content. Related titles. Richard Ney documents. Jump to Page. Search inside document. Marvin Valiente.

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