A Dirty Shame book. Read reviews from the world's largest community for readers. This is book 2 of the J.J. Graves series.J.J. Graves is back in Bl. Editorial Reviews. From the Inside Flap. JJ Graves is back! The crimes are grittier, the suspense Dirty Money (A J.J. Graves Mystery Book 7)Kindle Edition. A Dirty Shame: A J.J. Graves Mystery and millions of other books are available for instant access. view Kindle . Book 2 of 6 in the J.J. Graves Mysteries Series.

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A Dirty Shame Book

J.J. Graves is back in Bloody Mary, but she's a long way from feeling at home. Between her physical scars from being the target of a murderer and the emotional. Books related to A Dirty Shame. You're Not Safe ebook by Mary Burton. You're Not Safe. Mary Burton. $ · Gotcha Detective Agency Mysteries Box Set of 3. Read "A Dirty Shame" by Liliana Hart available from Rakuten Kobo. Sign up in Worldwide? Choose your country's store to see books available for download.

Though we may have a physical, earthly spouse, as God's people we are ultimately the bride of Christ. God created erotic love as a symbol of our union with Him. Michael Pearl, the author of Holy Sex, has many good things to say. He addresses The Song of Songs Solomon in a straightforward, uncomplicated way, and gives a well-researched, happy, and practical assessment of it in fewer than 80 pp. He believes that this book of the Bible is intended as a play, performed to celebrate the passionate and sincere love of a shepherd couple-turned-royalty. He believes it portrays the natural love-making of an average, young, uninhibited couple. He does not spiritualize the story into an allegory, nor does he neglect the fact that the Creator has chosen sex to represent His longed-for, close relationship with each one of us. He keeps a good balance along these lines, by spending half the book going step-by-step through each verse of the eight chapters of Song of Songs, then the second half exploring what else the Scriptures say about clean sex in an appropriate relationship. In this way, he makes clear that the book can be taken at face-value, as a celebration of erotic love, given by the Creator as a gift to married couples. He spells out that sex is intended to be fun, clean, guiltless, and helpful to both partners. So far so good. Pearl starts to fall off the tracks.

These years have not been fun. They've been hell. Some of this has been his fault for at times being demanding and rude, not to mention oblivious of my needs sexual and otherwise. Some has been my fault, for being afraid to speak my mind. Some has been neither of our fault--simply the same mental and spiritual struggles thousands or millions of women face every day.

These include fears and loathings, and self-talk brought on by relationship problems which pre-date our marriages, and which are difficult to resolve through even the most strenuous and consistent efforts at forgiveness and healing. So where does this leave my fellow strugglers and I?

Pearl is quick to point out that pre-marital sex makes for a guilty conscience, and "dirty" feelings, leading to a distaste for sex once the honeymoon feelings wear off.

Obviously, this is true in many cases. But I was a year-old virgin when I married. Clearly physical, pre-maritial sexual involvement isn't the origin of the problems for some of us.

Spirits and Fears Abound Unclean spirits love to torment anyone they can. My Experiences Now let me mention what I have experienced, with the suspicion that some of this will seem familiar to you. I have experienced sexual assaults by unclean spirits ever since I was a young child. I was sure of these experiences by the time I was nine years old, though I had no name for what happened.

By the way, in parts of Asia, as I understand, they call females who have experienced such assaults "fox girls". It is a real thing. In my early marriage, I recognized problems stemming from these assaults, and told my husband about my memories and ongoing nightmares. He passed the buck to some missionary friend in Thailand, who never so much as responded to his email.

So I tried to live with the problems as best I could. Years later, I got up my nerve to discuss this issue with a friend. He suggested I may have been physically sexually abused, as I carried all the emotional and psychological trauma symptoms of a rape victim.

After exploring this issue at length, I came to the conclusion that there is zero evidence that I was ever sexually molested on a physical level. But many counselors say that what happens to the soul affects a person in much the same manner as do physical events. So I am in the same boat as any sexually abused person, as far as my emotions and reactions are concerned.

Furthermore, I know from seeking out others' stories and listening to case histories that my experiences are not unusual. They are common. Pearl's Advice Now to return to Mr. Pearl's advice: Pretend to like sex until you really like it. I've tested this advice in such a way that I believe I'm qualified to comment. I gave this method a three-year test run. Yes, three solid years. My Test Results In light of this, let's briefly explore some common reasons women don't enjoy sex.

If my reasons had centered on any of these factors, three years should have been long enough to allow good things to happen, and everything should have come to rights. However, remaining frigid no matter what I tried, and feeling raped an average of twice a week did not improve my outlook on sex. I remained compliant, which kept my marriage together I still felt nauseous, humiliated, and enraged after every episode of "fun", and often cried myself to sleep, while my spouse snored obliviously by my side.

This story remained similar for another two years, while I worked my way through counseling to learn how to forgive myself and others. I concentrated on learning new patterns mentally, emotionally, and sexually.

Bitterly Depressive Nights I cried myself to sleep on many occasions. My husband never noticed, or asked how he could help make things alright between us, though he complained a lot, was sarcastic, and touchy.

Today I can now tolerate being with my spouse sexually. Sometimes I even enjoy going to bed with him, though he is still largely oblivious, and sometimes rude and demanding. It is because of the power of Christ's forgiveness acting through me that I can honor him sexually, at least most of the time.

It has nothing to do with, "Try, try again," or personal willpower.

A Dirty Shame : A J.J. Graves Mystery

It is Christ acting through me. They are apparently non-questions to Mr.

So what is the upshot? To whom is this book valuable, and for whom might it be destructive? If I had a single concern which loomed above the rest, it would be this: Those who have experienced abuse of any kind frequently feel guilty enough without having someone else tell them that they did something wrong. Therefore, having questions of abuse or ignorance or spiritual shame ignored, and being told that you are wrong for not liking sex, is one of the most harmful things possible.

As I said earlier, when seen on video the Pearls are often warm and down-to-earth. But sometimes, they come across as condemning know-it-alls. If I picked up this book looking for answers luckily I was merely curious , I would have felt punched in the gut by the "advice" given.

It definitely would not have felt like an encouraging arm around my shoulders.

And if I had not already gone through a period of feeling scathed by fellow Christians, and come through it stronger for the Creator's mercy and grace, I would have been further soured on Christian "help". I Enjoy Being Challenged But Not Yelled At. Condemnation is often not required, and should never be the first step.

A Dirty Shame

God's heart is warm and He is patient with the unknowledgeable and damaged. We could stand to be likewise. Good Commentary, Bad Self-Help Book Therefore, as a commentary on a lovely Bible book meant to inspire lovely relationships, this book is good.

As an instructional or self-help book, it falls short of the most necessary marks.

And as a book demonstrating Christ's love, it feels cut off in the middle. Perhaps the Pearls were aiming to keep the book short. That it is. Too short. For someone in a happy relationship, I've no doubt it makes a satisfying read. For the rest of us, it is worse than a tough steak sans sauce, with a plain baked potato on the side, and no beverage at hand. I believe Mr. Pearl would have done well to stop with the commentary portion. If he felt the need to talk about how guilt and intentional sexual misconduct destroy good marriages, then I'm glad he did that Since he didn't, he might at least have included a section on how to truly forgive others and yourself.

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